Wow. I just took a good look at myself. For those of you who are not familiar with astrology, Virgos are supposed to be super neat and tidy. They are perfectionists in everything they do, including the image they present to the world. Their clothes always match perfectly, and are never wrinkled. They match their shoes with other accessories, like belts, purses, and brief cases. A Virgo’s hair is never out of place. I’m waiting for someone to snatch my Virgo card today.
I’m a mess. I work from home, but even by hermit standards I’m not looking good today. I’m wearing a faded, red long-sleeved t-shirt, with faded black yoga pants. In my defense, the yoga pants are super cool as they have 3 pockets with snazzy zippers.
Let’s talk shoes. Since I am wearing elastic-waist pants and a t-shirt, and since I have been padding around the house in white ankle socks, I probably should have worn sneakers with this ensemble. No. Instead, because it’s Monday and I am at my laziness peak for the week, I decided to don black loafers – with the white athletic socks. Get me some pureed soup; I’m ready for the nursing home.
My hair is also a prize-winning piece of art. I decided to leave it “wavy” today. This means after I washed it I put an 80’s amount of mousse in my hair and fluffed it with a wide-toothed comb. Then, because I was cold, I made a half-assed attempt at blow-drying it. As you can imagine, this just made things worse. I was able to gather the most unruly strands in a small clip on top of my head. The rest hangs in a semi-wavy frizz.
This will shock you, but I have also opted to forgo all cosmetics today. As I was on my way out to take my son to the orthodontist, I actually looked in the mirror. I thought, “Maybe a little mascara, or some powder, or at least some lipstick would help.” Then, I took notice of what I was wearing. I opted to at least run a lint roller over myself to remove all of the cat fur. No use advertising that I am a crazy cat lady. I’m telling you, someone is going to snatch my Virgo card.
It’s either that or Clinton and Stacy will ambush me. They will show me videos of myself looking like a homeless yoga instructor. Then, they will give me a card and tell me to go shopping in New York City. Actually, that might not be a bad thing. Is anyone willing to turn me it to What Not To Wear?
Disclaimer: I wrote this yesterday. I look much better today. I have paired a yellow t-shirt with black yoga pants. : )