Gangstas and Golden Girls

IMG_0888I saw rapper Rick Ross on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine a while back, and though I had never laid eyes on him there was something familiar about him.  I stared at his picture for a bit, trying to figure out what was bringing about this sense of deja vu.  It wasn’t his large physique, or his wall-to-wall tattoos.  Rick is so tattooed that I am sure he could go without a shirt, as he is on the cover, and people would just think that he was wearing an Ed Hardy shirt.  It wasn’t his beard or even his name.  I had truly never heard of the guy.  Then it hit me.  Rick Ross’ style choices were taking me back to the Deli Den, circa 1985.

Eighties Hollywood Beach chic is back in style, and it’s not just for old ladies anymore.  I grew up in South Florida at a time when it was still referred to as “God’s waiting room,” and it was. In the 1980’s, South Florida was more like South Manhattan.  I say this as someone who has never been to Manhattan, south or otherwise.  I didn’t have to go to New York; all of the retirees brought it to me, and I loved it.  There were great delis everywhere, and yes, lots of old women in flashy clothes and jewelry.  Rick Ross is bringing South Florida blue hair back, even if it’s not intended.  (Darn! Now I have Sexy Back stuck in my head, yet again.)

In his Rolling Stone cover picture, Rick was totally dressed the part of the average elderly Saks Fifth Avenue shopper from my teen years. He had big diamond rings, numerous diamond bracelets, and even a couple of diamond necklaces to complement his tattoo shirt and sagging jeans.   And holding those jeans up, or not really up but halfway up was none other than an old-school Fendi belt complete with the golden double F as the buckle.  Rick Ross is officially a Golden Girl in my eyes, mostly Blanche, but with Dorothy’s stature.

I don’t mean to pick on Rick, and I didn’t mean to rhyme either.  I’m sure a lot of rappers, musicians, actors, and people who have not seen What Not To Wear dress the same way.  I’m also sure that Betty White will need to have Rick on her new show soon.  It’s been a while since there has been a Golden Girls reunion.

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