So, recently, my personal hero, after the Dalai Lama and Heidi Floyd of course, Jennifer Lawson, AKA The Bloggess , posted about silly things she used to believe when she was younger. She also shared comments made by readers who shared their mixed up truths. One of those readers was my friend and co-worker, Miss IHeartConsumers . As I’m sure you can imagine, I broke out in jealous fangirl rash that THE Bloggess actually knew that my friend lived, breathed, and used to think that people got “awfully married.” Well, some people still do, Miss. Not me of course. I love my husband more than Reese’s peanut butter cups.
Anywho, this all started me thinking about some of the silly crap that I used to believe. Like all kids, and some adults, I had my own little weird system of truths. I still do, for the most part, but I now know that the things listed below are not true.
- Color did not exist before the 1940’s or so. I blame this on the Wizard of Oz. I mean, it’s in black and white at first, and then, like magic, there is color. The same thing happened in Pleasantville, but I was a grown-up by then.
- As I got older, my mom would get younger. Seriously, I used to tell my mom things that would happen when “I get big and you get little.” Well, I guess wasn’t too far off with that one. As people age, they need more care, and sometimes care involves diapers.
- A witch lived under my bed. I blame this one on the Wizard of Oz, too. That Wicked Witch of the West was scary. I just KNEW she was under my bed, ready to grab my feet as I got in and out of bed.
- Potsie Weber from Happy Days also lived under my bed. I guess that made him the Wicked Witch’s roommate, which really makes no sense given their very different personalities. Also, I wasn’t afraid of Potsie. So, I’m not sure why it was even an issue.
- You really can dig to China. I tried it once in my father’s back yard during one of the 4 times I visited his house. My parents were divorced, and I lived with my mom. Anyway, I vividly remember digging a big hole in the back yard and just knowing that I would be able to get “real” sweet and sour pork at any moment. I guess I also believed that sweet and sour pork was real, another falsehood.
- Shake cheese had cooling properties. Whenever I went to take a bite of my Spaghetti O’s, they always seemed to be too hot. So, I would shake some Kraft canned cheese on them to cool them down. What, it’s kind of white and sort of snow like, at least to a Florida girl. I loved Spaghetti O’s and continued eating them, with or without cooling cheese, until my step-dad pointed out that they smelled like “bah room vomit.” He was from Boston. I have yet to get a good whif of bar room vomit, but I’ve moved on to better food.
I’m sure I believed in a lot of other silly things like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and honest car salesmen, but these are truly my top 6. What did you believe when you were a kid? Post one of your craziest kid beliefs in the comment section.