Of all of the messed up things that my biological father did, and there were many, I would say NOT keeping in touch with Nick Clooney irritates me the most. Way back in the day, before I was born (No, dinosaurs were NOT roaming!), my father, Gary Petty, produced Nick Clooney’s talk show in Cincinnati, in the late 60’s. You may recognize the last name as also belonging to George, who appears in the title. That is because Nick is George’s father. So, people, long story short, my older brother used to play with George Clooney.
When I say that my brother played with George Clooney, I mean the actual person, not some whackadoo doll that is supposed to look like him. Did you know that a George Clooney doll actually exists? I didn’t until today when I Googled it, and honestly, I’m horrified. Who would buy this thing? Some weird, introverted middle-aged woman who talks to cats all day? Hey, don’t judge!
Anyway, yes, my brother and George Clooney used to run around outside and play various little boy games. Both were about 7 or 8 at the time, and this was in the late 60’s. So, there were no video games or a multitude of TV shows. They went outside. And this is where our real story begins.
Disclaimer: I do not have evidence of the following being true. I have my mother’s word, and that is good enough for me. My brother has verified that he did play with George Clooney, but will not confirm or deny what occurred. My stepmother claims to have seen a photo of my father with young George sitting on his lap. No one knows where said photo is, and my father passed away 25 years ago. So, he’s no help either. The following story is what keeps me from thinking that George Clooney is hot.
OK. One time when my brother and George were playing, my brother came running in to the apartment with the young Clooney, yelling for our mom. Well, since I was not born yet, I guess she was just his mom. Anyway, he was yelling, “Mom!” So my mother went running to him. There stood the future “sexiest man in America” with what my mom describes as a “used Kotex” on his forehead. She of course asked my brother what the heck little George was doing with THAT on his forehead. Knowing my mom, she probably used a lot more than “heck” in this situation. My brother enlightened her. “WE WERE PLAYING COWBOYS AND INDIANS!! AND WE FOUND BANDAGES WITH REAL BLOOD ON THEM!!”
You’re welcome. Now, you too won’t be able to see George Clooney without picturing THAT on his forehead. And that, my friends, is why video games might not be so bad after all.