Why I Get Honked at A LOT

It all started in third grade PE.  This is when the other kids realized that they should not pick me for their kickball teams.  When kids got stuck with me they usually smacked their lips and stomped their feet in disgust.  The truth was, and is, I don’t give a rat’s behind about sports or winning.  The kids in third grade found out when I ducked from a flying, red playground ball instead of catching it and getting whoever that kid was “out.”  Even then, I would have rather stayed in the classroom and read than gone out in the South Florida sun to “play.”  I always felt like Private Benjamin in PE.

Let’s face it.  I’m a little weird.  Aside from being a sedentary introvert, I’m also not a Christian.  I’m more of a Buddhist thinker, which is where the lack of enthusiasm for competition comes from.

Around here, they even have OSU sandwiches.
Around here, they even have OSU sandwiches.

I didn’t know this, the Buddhism part, until I took this quiz. So, anyway, as the sole sorta Buddhist hermit wherever I go, people often look at me funny, stop talking to me, or, if they are in the car behind me, honk.

Late last fall, I did something I rarely do, I went to Kroger on a Saturday. It was packed, so I assumed that people were stocking up for an early snowstorm that was headed our way.  Having grown up and spent most of my life in the hurricane belt, I could relate to stocking up for a storm.  As I was standing in the deli line, waiting to buy some white American cheese for my cat (that’s another blog entirely) and some low-salt deli meat for my husband, I got bored and decided to do something I also rarely do.  I talked to a person I did not know.

I looked at the woman next to me and said, “I guess everyone is stocking up before it starts snowing.” She said, “Probably for the Bucks’ game.” To which I replied, “What?”  I didn’t hear her at first.  When she said Bucks I thought she was talking about hunting, another thing I don’t care about.  Then, I caught on, “Oh, does Ohio State play today? I’m not a fan of sports at all.”  The lady turned her head and stopped talking to me.  Yep. Not one more word.  No, her number at the deli was not called. It was like horns grew out of my head when I said I did not care about sports.

I work from home, so my schedule is somewhat flexible.  Because of this, I’m usually not in a mad, crazy, homicidal rush when I leave the comfort zone to run an errand or pick up lunch.  Therefore, I REFUSE to be an aggressive turner.  If I am attempting to turn left, and I do not have a green arrow, I wait until it is actually safe to turn to move.  I don’t inch up into the intersection so that I can get to my destination 48 seconds quicker.  It’s just not that important to me.  It’s not a race.  Even if it were, we all know I would not care about winning.  Even when some super aggressive driver honks at me, and this happens often, I will still not sit in the middle of the street so I can scoot quickly in front of a semi.  What does the honker think I am going to do, smile and say, “Oh, are you in a rush? Please allow me to risk my life to get out of your way.”

That’s why I get honked at a lot.  And this is why I should just stay home.

9 thoughts on “Why I Get Honked at A LOT

  1. Loved it!!! Almost makes staying at home… which is basically my universe… seem “cool.” “Bucs” game? Hmmm… you mean you aren’t somewhere, out there, in the far reaches of my house… perhaps an attic, basement… or a wardrobe? I never go any of those places. I sort of stay here unless I have no choice. You’re telling me that, “The Truth is Out There?” “Trust No One?” I have long suspected this but wasn’t completely sure… “Krogers…” is that a food dispensary? What’s with all the women sports fans? (low whisper) …are they pod people? …have they been “snatched??” Awesome Lisa… keep on truck’in… we said that a long time ago… I think it was a long time ago… well… do it anyway!!

    1. HA! Yes, Kroger is our food place here. I still miss Publix, which is in Florida and southern places. I don’t get all of the sports stuff at all. Once, YEARS ago when I was married to my son’s dad, we went to the World Series. I brought magazines. True story.

      I’m off to watch the news and make meatloaf. There may be a cocktail. I’m not going to lie.

  2. As a God-fearing SEC football fan, I have to say, you hit the nail on the head as far as how exclusionary the fandom can be. “What team do you root for?” “None.” “Oh, so you follow NFL football?” “Nope.” “Oh, so you’re a weird dude like this guy I work with who watches soccer?” “Nope. Don’t really do sports.” Awkward silence, right? What if instead of not being into sports you weren’t really into politics, or weren’t really into religion? I mean, those are more important arenas to be involved in in life as a civilized human being, right? But I imagine if you said “Oh I’m not really religious,” even die-hard Christians would nod along, and if you said “I’m not really politically active- I don’t even know about elections or who to vote for,” people might understand at any given Kroger deli line. But sports?! Heaven for-freaking-fend you shouldn’t be into THAT. It’s like how I felt when I went to orchestra concerts held in the church sanctuary in our last congregation. I just… I didn’t get chamber orchestra music. I didn’t like it. It was boring. REALLY boring. But if I said anything other than “the performance was a triumph!” I knew I’d be seen as that weirdo it was okay to ignore. At least in that situation I was in line for a white wine, lol!

  3. Too funny and weird at the same time! What the hell was up with the deli-sport-person? Since you are an introvert, I will clue you in about the deli-line people. Truly otherwise passive people (it’s amazing how aggressive 80 yr olds and pretty little young mothers can become) will start snorting and near-stomping an imaginary hoof about getting their processed food fix. Oh I would have so loved to have sidled up to you at the deli and asked some bizarre science question. But then again you wouldn’t have made me one of your famous cookies. You should really ‘do’ something with those cookies. The world (meaning me) is suffering from no Seesa cookies.
    Dang the Follow Pettythoughts box blocks out my sentences. Hope I spelled, framed, whatever correctly…haha..probably not on my best day.

  4. Hey Lisa!

    This is awesome, we’re like soul mates! I don’t like sports or care for winning either!! I used the same note in the 4th grade to get out of gym class.. I did not like to partake in those activities and found nothing “fun” about them. When people ask me if I follow sports, I proudly say “NO”.. It’s Football season and at work that is the main topic of conversation, so tedious.

    It’s OK I get honked at too, and if im on the right (slow) lane, I go slower to prove a point. 🙂

    Happy Monday! 🙂

    1. Iva, it is so good to know I’m not alone. This is one reason that I LOVE the internet.
      The only good thing about football season is the commercials during the Super Bowl, and thanks to YouTube, you don’t have to watch the Super Bowl to see them.
      Happy Monday to you, too!

  5. I get honked at for not going like that ALL the time–especially since i live in Northern Virginia. My mother though is a driving instructor so I know that the yield on green light doesn’t mean you HAVE to go, it means you go when it’s safe/clear. And you certainly don’t block traffic by inching out into the intersection. So I follow the rules of the road and allow the people to honk. I’m not going to risk getting T-boned, so you keep making sure your car horn works! Cause the honkers are the same one who would SWEAR has no working turn signal! 🙂

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