The First Annual Award Show for People Who Should Give Their Money To Teachers and Firemen, Etc.

It’s that time of year again, kids.  It’s time for the endless stream of shows where people who play dress-up for a living are celebrated.  Seriously, these people do nothing more than “play pretend” like we all did when we were little.  The only difference is that they get paid millions and billions of dollars to do so.

I don’t mean to say that these actors, directors, singers and whatever elses don’t deserve their money. OF COURSE they deserve millions and billions of dollars for putting on costumes and pretending to be other people. They are performing a valuable service to humanity.  I mean, without actors we wouldn’t have movies, or TV shows.  Then, what would we do while we sit on our couches and scarf down KFC straight out of the bucket.  Without constant visual entertainment, we may have to talk to each other, or, gulp, even exercise.

I hear you. “But, Lisa, celebrities contribute a lot of time and effort to a variety of charities, and they adopt poor foreign children.”  Yes, I too have seen the fabulous news stories about celebrities raising cash for the poor.  I wonder if they would put the same amount of energy into these things if they actually had to work every day, for a normal rate of pay, without a bunch of positive publicity for every charitable thing they do.

There are people who help others every day, who do not make oodles of money, or have fabulous awards shows.  They are called Firefighters, Paramedics, Teachers, Nurses and Volunteers.  Most of them earn barely enough to pay their bills, and volunteers earn NOTHING.  They do not get to borrow fabulous jewelry and gowns, or parade around on a red carpet to be adored by all.  They simply do what they are driven to do – help people.

So, instead of having another stupid award show every 32 seconds, let’s just have one show every year.  It can run for 24 hours straight, or even the whole weekend, if necessary.  We can call it The First Annual Award Show for People Who Should Give Their Money To Teachers and Firemen, Etc.  All proceeds from advertising will be given to people who work hard and actually do something, oh say, real.  All gowns, jewelry and trophies will be sold and that money will also be given to folks who do not find it necessary to air their dirty laundry in various bars around LA.

And that is today’s rant.  Tune in later when I go after the Stupor Bowl.

Note: This post was previously published on my old Salon blog.

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