Someone in a blogging group posted a question about writing schedules. I don’t have a regular writing schedule mostly because I’m not Stephen King. I don’t have a naptime and a ten-figure income. I have a husband, a son, a full-time job, and five pets. I don’t get to keep a regular writing schedule and sleep. So, I write when I can since I’ve grown fond of sleeping ever since my son became an independent teen. Don’t be jealous elementary school parents.
They need to invent a note pad you can use in the shower because I get my best blog ideas when I’m showering, or cooking, or doing anything not writing friendly. When I get an idea in the shower, instead of trying to write it on the shower door with a soapy finger (Boy, does that NOT work), I rinse quickly and get out so I can grab my phone with out electrocuting myself. I try to avoid that since I already have frazzled, middle-aged lady hair.
I’m an Apple junkie, so I use Siri to “draft” a blog in my email program. Then, I copy and paste the blog from email to a Word doc. This is when the fun begins since I have to figure out what the heck I was saying because Siri always messes up a word or fifteen. If he (I chose the male voice) were a real assistant, he would be out there in the snow looking for another job. My cat could probably take better notes.
When I wrote this recent blog about the bloggers that I read daily, Siri recorded “broadcasters” instead of “Bloggess.” I was sitting there, trying to type the blog going, “Broadcasters? Why the hell would I be talking about the TV and Radio people? Was the bathroom too steamy post shower? Did I maybe fall and hit my head? I finally figured it out, but it took a few minutes. I don’t have that kind of time.
I also get a lot of ideas while I’m driving, but I usually don’t have time to pull over and jot them down. Since my phone is usually in my purse, I don’t attempt to pull it out and use Siri while driving. I’m not suicidal, even though you would never know this if you observed my eating habits. I have attempted to use my VW’s hands free system, but the VW Bluetooth Biotch is worse than Siri. Ms. VW tells me I don’t have my own cell phone number and that she can’t text me, and other such nonsense. Again, if she were a real person, and not a beautiful sporty little car, she would be fired. So, usually, by the time I got home, the super fast creative brain has dulled and I end up grunting out two sentences in a Word doc and making more tea.
I usually end up revising and posting a blog while standing in the kitchen, with the laptop on the counter, and stirring something on the stove, sometimes with a glass of wine nearby. If you have read any of my blogs, you should not be shocked that alcohol may or may not be involved. I do it all. I write. I cook. I drink wine, and maybe a little vodka, and scotch, but not at the same time. I bring home the bacon, and I fry it up in a pan. Here’s a video to explain that last part for anyone under forty.