Recently, I was having coffee with a friend and we were talking about his mother, who had recently passed away. She had a short, but difficult bout with cancer, which she opted not to fight as it was advanced. For a while, it seemed like she was getting better, but then a sudden clue told the family that she was close to death. She stopped smoking. She had been a smoker for over fifty years, and she suddenly quit. She smoked her last cigarette on a Monday, and died on a Friday. This got me thinking about my habits, or things I’m known for, and I made a list of ways people will know I am dying.
- I will stop writing snarky blogs. Well, I will probably stop writing altogether.
- I will stop scooping litter boxes every two hours. Seriously, I am a fanatic about litter
boxes. I have three cats and two dogs, but I don’t want my house to smell like I do.
- I will stop noticing when things are dirty. I may have mentioned that I am a neat freak. I am constantly cleaning something. If my house is ever a mess, worry about me.
- I stop rolling my eyes at political and religious posts on Facebook. Seriously, my eyes will roll out of my head one day. That may be what kills me.
- I will lose interest in Facebook. I LOVE finding old friends on Facebook. Without social media, I would be wondering whatever happened to all of my high school buddies. Now, I know. If I were dying, I wouldn’t care.
- I will stop baking. I love to make cookies and muffins. It’s like I have a quest to fatten everyone up. If I am terminally ill, people in my life will go down a size.
- I will stop yelling at the dogs for barking. Well, maybe not. I think barking would be more annoying then.
Well, on that note, I’m going to go enjoy some ice cream and trash TV. I’ve already burned the calories from cleaning the kitchen and vacuuming.