Eye-burning Fickle Fireball

Does February, the Polar Vortex’s BFF, suck your brain out, too? This is what happened to me this month.  I was on a roll, doing that whole day job thing, posting blogs two or three times a week, keeping the house super clean, baking, cooking, and then February came and took my brain from me. 

IMG_0979Way back in the day, when I was going to elementary school in South Florida, I learned all of those cute seasonal rhymes like the rest of you.  March was in like a lion and out like a lamb.  Everyone knew that April showers brought May flowers, but not pilgrims.  The Mayflowers brought those.  I repeated these sayings, just like I repeated my times tables, without really understanding them.  In South Florida, March and April are identical.  The summer is rainy season, and flowers are a year round thing.  I didn’t see leafless trees or snow until I was 35.  I had no idea what these little rhymes meant.

Then, we moved to Fort Wayne, IN (AKA the armpit of America).  We stayed there for 5 LONG years, and now we are next door in Ohio.  For a year or two, seasons were cool. The colored leaves were SOOOOOOO pretty, and snow was like magical fairy glitter.  I LOVED seasons.  See that past tense.  Now, my eternal, inner Floridian has had enough. 

 

More Frigging snow!
More Frigging snow!

This winter has been incredibly long.  It snowed on Halloween, and it is going to snow again on Sunday, March 2.  There’s that lion.  Here in Ohio, it is cloudy 99.967543% of the time.  When the sun comes out, for like 49 seconds at a time, my eyes actually hurt.  There is not enough coffee in the world since the clouds somehow sneak into my brain and take over.  And the thing that is really annoying, other than shoveling snow, is that people around here think that FIFTY degrees is warm.  Yes! The locals will actually put on shorts and pronounce it “nice outside” when I am still in layer upon layer of wool goodness. 

 The only thing that gets me through the 5 or 6 months of cold every year is my Hawaiian fantasy land.  I daydream about endless summers, wearing sandals every day, and living on pineapples.  I may need to retire there.  I am looking forward to old age.

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