Well, you non-morning people irritate the $&@% out of me!


I always hear about how annoying morning people are.  People talk about how they’re not really awake until noon.  They complain about overly energetic or talkative people in the morning.  Well, guess what?  You AM Eeyores irritate the chirpiness right out if me.  Here’s why.

You act like the sun is your enemy.  You squint at it when a sensible morning person opens the blinds to get rid of the dungeon atmosphere that is a house with all blinds closed. The sun is what allows you and everyone else to live on this planet.  Put on some shades and stop being a wimp.

You mope around after getting up like someone died. Be glad you even woke up. Be glad you can walk. Be glad you don’t live in Iraq. Wimp!

You’re so unproductive in the morning.  I get the bulk of my work done before noon.  That’s because I actually do stuff instead of sit around and bitch about the fact that “It’s toooooo EARRRRLY!”

You make stupidass Facebook memes like this:


So, thank you for reading this coffee-induced rant, originally drafted at 8:00AM on a Saturday morning after cleaning the house. Are you a morning person, or a non-morning person? Let me hear from you in the comment section.

14 thoughts on “Well, you non-morning people irritate the $&@% out of me!

  1. I’m a morning person. We are a persecuted minority. What could you POSSIBLY be thinking, posting this kind of pro-morning treatise? When these people wake up this afternoon, they will strongly consider rolling out of bed, sharpening their pitchforks, lighting their torches from the gritty burner of their coffee maker, and coming after YOU, missy.

  2. I’m a non-morning person that works from 7-3pm lol so I’m a FORCED morning person. I’ve adapted just fine but I’ve found I like the peace and quiet of the morning shift. My whole building is still soulless and quiet at that time making it perfect productivity time. Honestly, If I’m not in the office first I feel as though I’ve failed for the day, lol. I like being here first and getting ish done before people walk in. I prefer the sun up because it makes it easier. I’m an introvert so regardless of the time, I like my peace – but especially in the AM – I think that’s the best part of the AM the fact that it’s quiet and I hate when people disrupt that with questions and nonsense. Let me enjoy it please. K thanks! Happy Hump Day Lisa see you Friday!!! -Iva

    1. I’m the same way, Iva. I would rather work early in the morning. In fact, one of the main reasons I stopped doing stand up comedy was because there are no morning comedy clubs. I have my least amount of energy for the day at night.

  3. Nope, not a morning person !! I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and go to bed in pain, no, not with a husband, but, the pain my body gives me. Then, I awaken in the morning, and my damn pain is still with me. I try and sweet talk it into sleeping for the next century…..

  4. I’m a morning AND a night person…and I don’t take naps. Have I mentioned how damn tired I am?? But productive — super productive, so there’s that! And sleep is overrated, right?

    1. Are you snorting Sudafed? How do you do it? Seriously! Write a book about how you do all of this and sell it. You will be on the Today Show, and you must take me with you because it was my idea and I have a crush on Matt Lauer.

    2. Me, too! Except for the super productive part. I wake up all by myself in the morning, too – no coffee. I’ve gone on mission trips where the other 60 visitors at the camp were all waiting around the coffee maker with mugs waiting for it to be done while I was just walking by already alert. Then I stay up way too late futzing around online because my house is finally quiet after the kids and husband go to sleep.

      1. Cat,
        I LOVE your name. I’m a certified cat person.
        As for coffee, I do drink it, but I don’t need it. Honestly, I can take a nap after having a cup of coffee. I must have ADHD or something.
        When your kids are teens, you will have more quiet time. I promise. 🙂

  5. You act like the sun is your enemy.

    Can’t do that anymore… I found out I had a vitamin (it’s not really a vitamin, it’s a hormone) D deficiency. Besides taking a supplement, my father-in-law built me a light box so my showers can be extra bright now. Regular sunlight seems to be best and I’ve scored myself a red neck now (yay, I’m a redneck).

    I also deal with chronic pain, and the bipolar might have something to do with my easily disrupted circadian rhythms. I haven’t been a morning person since maybe 1992, but, I’m trying.

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