Living Like Stephen King and Petting Tigers

Since I will be turning 29 in September (That’s 43 in real world time), I’ve started to think about how quickly life is passing by. It really does go by so fast after high school, doesn’t it? So, I’ve started listing the things I still want to accomplish before I (hopefully) drop dead suddenly and without pain at the age of 99. Because I like to over share, and because there is nothing good on TV in the summer, here is my bucket list for your reading enjoyment.

I want to learn to dance and sing Gangnam Style – wait for it – in KOREAN. YES! This has to be one of the most physically and mentally challenging things I could do. Just in case you live on another planet, and have not seen and heard this, take a minute or four to watch it.

I want, no I NEED, to hold a baby tiger. I’m not dumb enough to want to get in a cage with a full-grown tiger, but I could handle a kitten. Jack Hanna, are you reading this? Let me hold a tiger kitten, damn it!

I will be in a flash mob. I have to. Ever since I was in Miss Raines’ dance class at South Broward High School, I have enjoyed shaking my backside around to anything from Rhythm Nation to Black Hole Sun, which lends itself nicely to adolescent ballet moves.

I’ve gotta get around to finishing the two novels I’m writing. In my line of work, I spend WAY TOO MUCH time correcting other people’s writing. It dulls my creativity and makes it hard for me to write. I have to make time to finish my novel on the reincarnation of the 27 Club and the other about time travel.

I want to help animals more. Recently, I wrote a blog about how I have an only child and I’m fine with that. An old friend sent me a heartfelt letter telling me that I should adopt a child. She has adopted two children, and she is adopted. While I would love for every child to have a home, I simply don’t want more children. The good part about my friend’s message is that it made me realize that animals are my passion, not kids, and I need to do more to help furry beings.

I need to make enough money to piss off my extended family when I leave it to cats. If my husband leaves this earth before me, 80% of whatever I have will go to my son, and 20% will go to a cat shelter.

I really want to live to see religion truly separate from government. Things have gotten Handmaid’s Tale scary lately. Believe in Jesus all you want, but if he did exist, I’m pretty sure he was not a gun-toting Republican; he was more of a hippie. I’m no biblical scholar, but it seemed like he liked to help people, not make cuts to the food stamp program.

After reading Stephen King’s memoir, On Writing, I have decided that true success as a writer means living like Stephen King. I’m not talking about the cocaine years; I’m talking about now. The man has time to nap EVERY day, and he makes a living doing what he loves.

Even though I am a total hermit and I need Ativan to travel, I want to tour Europe. I want to see the castles and other historical buildings this world has to offer. I want to know where my pasty-skinned whiskey drinking ancestors come from.

That’s all I got for now. I’m sure as I enter my 30’s (AKA mid-40’s) I will think of more things. For now, I’m focusing on this list. So, what about you? What do you want to do before you croak?


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