No Labor Day for Dog Guards

Maltese
No holiday sweater needed for Labor Day.

I noticed something odd today. Mother, father, and the boy slept until after the sun was bright. I found this unusual because this is the third day in a row that this has happened, and the decorated tree is not in the living room. By my toe calculations, the family gets up before the sun and is in a hurry to leave the house without me and the other furry creatures for five days. Then, there are two days where there is a lot of noise in the yard and the humans nap on couches while humans chase balls around on the large light square.

I happened to hear Mother tell the boy that it was “Labor Day,” which meant he didn’t have to go to school and they didn’t have to go to work. From the sounds of it, humans get a day off on Labor Day unless they do any work involving food because Mother talked about getting some Chinese food. So, they must be working at the Chinese restaurant. Chinese food frightens me because of something I read on Facebook. I won’t go into details here.

I don’t cook food, but I also can’t take the day off since I must protect the family. If you have read my blog you know that I am a canine secret agent. So, I must continue my duties, as the family will no doubt do more foolish things since they will have their guard down. Father has even been known to set fire to a metal square outside and place perfectly good meat on it. This is highly dangerous and I bark at him when he does it. The man could burn his paws off.

Since Sophie is outside with Father a lot, and since she has been given the gift of size to make up for her lack of intelligence, I will continue to train her as my backup guard. I’ve been working with her since she was a puppy. Here is a training film from one of our first sessions.

As you can see, my work will never end. Thanks to Mother for narrating the film for me. She got my thoughts exactly correct. You will all be happy to know that Sophie does at least use the restroom in the correct place now.   She is still far from being a proper dog. Where did they find her?

Well, I’m off to lick the kitchen floor in hopes of finding a morsel of dropped potato salad, or maybe even a forgotten chunk of hot dog. As usual, I have received nothing but my standard issue dog food.   Some holiday!

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