Hey Peoples, Morris here. I finally got the light square away from Trample (Sophie). She thinks she’s the only one of us who can write. I actually write gooder than her but don’t tell her cause then she’ll chase me and run me over with her big tramply legs.
I mean it. She is scary big and stupid hyper. I think she scares my sister Pot Head Tiger (Boo Boo), too, because lately Pot Head has been avoiding the litter box. She poops on the floor, you guys. It’s just gross.
I try to cover the poop when she does it, but there is not really any litter on the tile or carpet. I gave myself rug burn trying to cover the evidence. No good. Mama still found it and yelled, “What the fuck, Boo?” Mom knows it’s her because she caught her doing it. Pot Head must be sniffing too much cat nip cause she just poops on the floor even when Mama or Daddy can see her.
We all have accidents sometimes. I used to pee on the floor when I first moved to Mama’s house. That was because I was mad at Mean Ninja (Andre) for trying to beat me up. I’m still mad at him, but I don’t pee on the floor anymore. I just kick his ass. I’m bigger and stronger. So, I teach him a lesson when he needs it. I hate it when Mama breaks up our fights cause I don’t need her help. I’m a big man.
I gotta go follow Pot Head around and tell her to use the litter box. She is probably so drugged out that she just forgets where all of the boxes are. I’d rather hide on Daddy’s pile of dirty clothes, but if I don’t keep Pot Head from pooping on the floor, Trample or Yippie Dog (Lola) will eat it. Why are dogs so gross?
Thanks for listening.
Purrs and Drool,
P.S. If you are looking for my mama, she is over on Scary Mommy today talking about how much she loves my human brother, the boy. I don’t know why she is there cause she is not scary at all.