Crouching Kitty, Starving Tiger

This is my panic room.  There are shoes but no food.
This is my panic room. There are shoes but no food. I didn’t plan for a real attack.

I asked Trample (Sophie) to carry the light square up to my undisclosed location in the house so I could alert you to my scary situation. She is both the largest and stupidest pet, so she is the only one who could venture down to the common area to do this errand for me. You see, we have been invaded, and I fear for my life. I may even starve to death, as I have not eaten in 72 minutes.

I won’t be able to eat third lunch or first dinner because the food bowl is down the stairs in the small room where the litter boxes and the loud fur washing machines are. I don’t dare leave my hiding place as I suspect I would be killed. There are strangers in my house, and they smell and sound like monsters.

Strange visitors worry me.
Strange visitors worry me.

It all started shortly after my third afternoon nap, right after second lunch. The bell noise rang and my canine sisters sounded the bark alarm. I immediately ran upstairs to Mother’s book room, where my favorite daytime couch is. From there, I could look out the window and what I saw horrified me. There were at least four of those wheeled things that humans use to take poor, unsuspecting creatures to the vet. So, my first thought was that we were all going to the doctor. I hid behind the couch as any sane individual would. Little did I know it was worse than I imagined.

Several strange humans entered my home. I heard noise, a lot of noise, and strange smells. None of the smells were tuna fish or decent cat food. There were stinky drinks and bad human food smells, oh and feet. The humans removed their paw protectors and left their scent everywhere. This is when I made a run for the closet, or as I like to call it the panic room.

Mother and this stranger have turned Mean Ninja and Yippie Dog into flash lights.  This is scary.
Mother and this stranger have turned Mean Ninja and Yippie Dog into flash lights. This is scary.

I have been here ever since. As I have mentioned, my access to nourishment has been blocked. You know a manly cat of my frame needs a constant intake of calories. I may starve, or at least drop a few ounces. Please send help when you read this. The vet may be able to revive me with proper nourishment and fluids. Until then, I will stay here amongst Mother’s shoes.


2 thoughts on “Crouching Kitty, Starving Tiger

  1. I don’t know how you will survive without third lunch or first (or God forbid) second and third dinner! Perhaps when the strangers leave you can hack up a fur ball or two to let Mother know that the situation was unacceptable.

    1. Miss Jana, I don’t know how I am still living. I ended up going 99 minutes without nourishment. I snuck down when the humans were engrossed in their stinky drinks. I almost died.
      Thanks for the love.

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