Cathouse Breakdown

Sure – I live in a large house with my parents, the boy, and my canine and feline brother and sisters, but sometimes, I just want to move into my own place. I have found several small dwellings in my house. They seem to be delivered in a loud brown truck that pulls up on the car area outside. Even if I don’t see it the dog sisters alert me with their bark alarms. So, I jump and run to the small window near the door. A man with a brown suit carries a cat home or two to the door, and it sits outside the little window until Mother or Father or the Boy bring it in. You would think the big stupid dog would retrieve it, but she just stares at the truck and barks.  This is quite useless. If I had big jaws like that, I would carry the homes in myself.

Once a human carries the cathouse in, Mother opens it with a small sword of sorts. It pops in and out like claws. She then takes out a bunch of useless and stinky things, and leaves the home on the floor for me. I enter it immediately to claim it for myself. Usually, when I leave to use the facilities, or grab a bite to eat, one of my siblings tries to steal it.

Sometimes, I find Morris, the fat, orange useless male, or Boo Boo, my sister who poops on the floor in my home. I let them know in no uncertain terms that it is MY HOUSE. By let them know, I mean I kick their asses. I’m not afraid to let them know who is boss. I’m the alpha here. Even big and stupid knows it.

I wish I could say that my cathouses last forever, but they don’t. Mysteriously, something always happens to them. Sometimes, I find them flattened, and other times they just disappear entirely. I used to suspect that some sort of sorcery or weather issue was to blame for this. Then, I caught Mother cutting up my house with her claw sword. So, when I do have a house of my own, I enjoy it and have everyone take pictures of me in it. I want to share a few with you here.

One time, I had a convertible home.
One time, I had a convertible home.

 

The power company never turns the electricity on soon enough when you move.
The power company never turns the electricity on soon enough when you move.

 

Finally!
Finally!

 

I hate it when my brother just invites himself over.  I will need to disinfect the place.
I hate it when my brother just invites himself over. I will need to disinfect the place.

 

UGH! It still smells like Morris. I'd better let it air out.
UGH! It still smells like Morris. I’d better let it air out.

 

Here I am inspecting my roof and the adjoining terrace.
Here I am inspecting my roof and the adjoining terrace.

 

Once again, Mother has destroyed my home.  She just can't stand to have me living away from her.
Once again, Mother has destroyed my home. She just can’t stand to have me living away from her.

 

I will be comfy here on the couch until I have a home of my own again.
I will be comfy here on the couch until I have a home of my own again.

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