Forget the Reaper; I Fear the Doorbell

IMG_0624I have had Don’t Fear the Reaper stuck in my head today.  Maybe it’s because it is almost Halloween, that spooky darkness and death time of the year, or maybe it’s because I see a graveyard whenever I look out my back window.  Seriously, my house backs up to a graveyard.  This is actually what made me want to buy our house.  Graveyards and Halloween (except for the trick-or-treaters) do not scare me.  I fear something far worse than ghosts and goblins — the doorbell.

If you’ve read this blog before, you know that I HATE phone calls, and that I usually don’t answer the phone.  The only thing worse than a phone call is an unexpected visitor.  The sound of the doorbell ringing usually makes me jump, and here is why.

  1. I work from home.  I’m not sitting here eating bon bons and waiting for someone to visit me.  I have deadlines and I already battle constant interruptions from my four animals.  The last thing I need is another obstacle, whether it involves talking about Jehovah, or saying no to lawn care ( I have a teenager for that).  This is why I have a No Soliciting sign.  I’ve learned that lots of folks need to look up “soliciting” in the dictionary.
  2. I’m an introvert.  I can barely handle scheduled socializing.  Dropping in on me is super annoying. You might as well just parachute down my chimney.  It would have the same effect on my frazzled nerves.
  3. Again, I WORK FROM HOME. I’m in my pajamas at least half the day.  I’m not dressed for company. Don’t hate me because I’m comfortable.
  4. I have dogs.  The dogs go NUTS when the doorbell rings.  They also tend to run out and jump on the person standing on the porch when I open the door.  They give kisses, too.  Remember, the big one eats poop. This is why I need notice before someone shows up.  I need to crate these beasts.
  5. A lot of home invasion robberies begin with a doorbell ring. Here is one example. I’m not opening the door.

So, long story short, text first.  Don’t call; just text.  I need at least 24 hours notice for all visits.  Thanks.  Happy Halloween.  There will be a bucket of candy on the porch.  Feel free to take a piece.

 

 

9 thoughts on “Forget the Reaper; I Fear the Doorbell

  1. Love it! Once upon a time I had a long screed taped to my door for all the people who didn’t understand what “no soliciting” meant. Then I felt guilty and un-neighborly, so I took it down. But every time someone invades my home space, I think about putting up the screed again.

    1. I need to put one up. I don’t care what the neighbors think. I give everyone my cell number and tell them to text me. I tell everyone I don’t answer the door. If they think they are special, that’s their problem. 🙂

  2. My cats fly in all directions and I freeze, wishing the TV wasn’t on. As I stand there, I start running possible excuses through my mind like, “they don’t know, maybe I’m in the shower!” I think I’d like to have some dogs barking, it might scare them off. And a graveyard nearby sounds perfect. At least those people never go door to door.

    1. This happened to me yesterday when the Jehovahs showed up. UGH! I hid in the kitchen like a kid. The dogs outed me, though. They look right at me when I am hiding. This is why I prefer cats. 🙂

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