The manchild and I were eating breakfast and watching the Today Show, and they were interviewing Olympic snowboard gold medal winner Chloe Kim. The interviewer mentioned that Chloe’s mom said that she should go to college now, and Chloe made a face.
Me: She doesn’t want to go to college. You know, not everyone has to go to college. You and I are the college types because we like books and words and all of that stuff.
Son: Right. Basically, I go to college because I don’t have anything else going on.
Me: Exactly. If you were an Olympic gold medalist, you could live off of your endorsements.
Son: I would totally whore myself out.
“Sergio, Nintendo wants you in a commercial.” OK.
“Sergio, Mountain Dew needs you in an ad.” Sure.
“Sergio, Pabst Blue Ribbon wants you to be in a commercial.” Sure!
Me: Really? You’d even do an ad for nasty cheap beer?
Son: Yep. I would have no pride.
Me: You’d end up in cheesy cameo spots in bad movies, too.
Son: Yes. They’d be any movie with Amy Schumer.
I’d be there like, “Hi, I’m Sergio, gold medalist…”
Amy Schumer would say, “MY VAGINA blah, blah, blah!”
Me: Yep. That is pretty much her act – dick jokes and, well, vagina jokes.
Can you tell that we are not big Amy Schumer fans?