Girl, it’s cold outside!

Years ago, when I worked for an online university, I was in Miami for a meeting with my colleagues.  One woman I was sitting with asked me where I lived.  At the time, it was Indiana (I don’t miss that place) so I told her.  She wrapped her arms around herself and pointed out the obvious, that it gets cold in the winter there.  She lived in Miami.

Then she said, “I couldn’t live there.  You can wear more fashionable clothing down here because it’s warm.”

I said, “That’s only if you think showing all of your skin is fashionable.  Cool boots and cute sweaters can be fashionable, too.”

Ever since that conversation, I’ve been wondering when showing your Bingo wings and back fat become fashionable? Also, why are women considered beautiful if they are freezing to death?  And the bigger question is why do they buy into this nonsense?

I really hate to see the bare-legged women of winter. No, they are not a new hippie-dippie folk band. I know that it’s 2019 and proper hosiery has the street cred of “Baby it’s cold outside”, but pale whisker pocked legs are just not attractive under a cocktail dress or evening dress.  I know from experience putting on tights can raise your pulse and cause minor perspiration, but they are needed, not only to keep you warm but really, no one wants to see that black-speckled Elmer’s paste. No matter how much you shave or wax when you get cold stubble pops up.

Yes, white girls, like me, I’m talking to you.  Keep those white glowing Dublin stubs under a nice pair of black tights, or better yet, wear pants.  Women are allowed to wear pants now.  Yep, we were given that right shortly after we were given the right to vote.

Now, I know that fashion is a lot different now than it was way back when. Women are expected to wear strapless and sleeveless dresses year round while men get to wear nice, comfy warm suits.  BUT there’s no law against adding some tights and a nice little jacket or fancy sweater to your dress.  You don’t need to dress for summer when it’s six months away.

Now, let’s talk shoes.  Those little, strappy, glitter shoes sure do look cute with your freshly pedicured toes, but what would you do if you ran out of gas or had a flat tire on the way home?  Would you walk through the snow in those summer shoes?  Think of the great frostbite you could get.  Maybe, if a couple of toes fell off, you could save money on a pedicure. Seriously, you are not on the red carpet, honey.  Dress for the weather that exists, not the weather in Hollywood.

Stay warm out there! Summer is just a short five months away!


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