Tag Archives: Bath and Body Works

Six Frugal and Fabulous Christmas Gifts

I’m already done with my holiday shopping, but I understand that some of you out there can’t read a fricking calendar and always need to do things at the last minute. So, for you, I made a list of my favorite last minute gifts. It’s kind of like Oprah’s favorite things list, but not everything costs more than the average person earns in a month. In fact, nothing on my list costs more than thirty bucks. So, as long as you have a mall in your town, you can find these items at the very last minute. I’m still not sure why you want to wait to buy presents, but that is your business.

Clinique Chubby Sticks — What woman doesn’t want a chubby stick? Get your mind out of the gutter. Women want these chubby sticks because they are purse worthy and safe for travel. Clinique makes eye shadow, lip stick, and blush chubby sticks. They have no applicators and do not require sharpeners.

Who doesn't enjoy a chubby stick?
Who doesn’t enjoy a chubby stick?

 

Bath and Body Works Vanilla — I love Bath and Body Works Vanilla lotions and soaps. They even have candles that will make your whole house smell like a bakery. So, stop watching that Elf marathon and get over to the Bath and Body Works store now. Be prepared for 782 salespeople to “help” you, though. If you don’t like to talk to people much, like me, you may want to pretend to speak a language other than English. Warning: do not pick Spanish or French.

So yummy you'll want to eat it.
So yummy you’ll want to eat it.

 

A Great Book — Almost everyone likes to read. Personally, I don’t trust people who hate books. Most of the people on your list would enjoy a book of some sort. Stephen King books usually suck me in like a black hole. My favorite Stephen King book ever is 11/22/63. I could not stop reading it. If self-driving cars were real, I would have read while driving. It’s that good.

I love time travel, JFK, and Stephen King.
I love time travel, JFK, and Stephen King.

 

Gift Cards — Just about any human would appreciate a gift card. If you have dogs or cats on your shopping list, DO NOT get them a gift card. They will eat it. Humans, on the other hand, will find them quite useful. There are a lot of different gift cards out there. Grocery stores and drug stores usually have a display of them, so you don’t even need to go to a particular store to buy one. You can also buy them online, but at this point, there’s a chance it won’t arrive before Christmas. So, put down that cocoa and put on some pants, and get out there. You’ve got cards to buy.

A movie gift card? Yes, please.
A movie gift card? Yes, please.

 

Music — Music is one of the best last minute gifts because it can be delivered instantly. You can purchase an album online and have a link emailed to the gift recipient. Then, they can download it to their iPhone or other non-Apple device. Yay for technology covering up for your procrastination!

This album rocks, and it has a festive deer on the cover.
This album rocks, and it has a festive deer on the cover.

 

Be Betty Crocker  — You could bake cookies, or a cake, or maybe a pie, depending on your skill level. Personally, I can make tasty cookies, but they tend to look like something the dog tracked through the house. If you enjoy baking, are low on cash, and have a few hours before gift giving time you could bake some holiday magic in your kitchen.

Mine would NOT look this good.
Mine would NOT look this good.

 

There you have it. I just saved your behind. You’re welcome. Aren’t you glad you waited until NOW to buy Christmas gifts? Now, put the glowing screen down and go shopping. I hope you can get a parking space.

Disclaimer: I have purchased everything listed because I love these products. I am not being paid by any of the companies above, especially the Kraft people. They would not pay me to advertise their holiday creations because my Oreo snowmen would look they stepped out of a snow zombie apocalypse.

 

Perfectly Posh: A Hermit’s Best Friend

Free samples!
Free samples!

A couple of weeks ago, I left the comfort zone and went on a scary trip to Bath and Body Works during one of their sales.  It was terrifying and I blogged about it here.   A kind soul named Olivia saw my Tweet about the blog and reached out to me for my mailing address.  Now, I don’t normally just give my address to strangers, but she was offering beauty product samples, DELIVERED to my home.  I would not have to pay for them or leave the house to get them.  Win-win.

Olivia sent Perfectly Posh samples, along with detailed instructions on how to use them.  Before trying them, I read more about the products, and I was thrilled to learn that they are all cruelty-free and as hypoallergenic as you can get.  While people can be allergic to just about anything, Perfectly Posh really tries to use gentle ingredients.  So, since is a Sunday, a typical shower and put on different pajamas day for me, I decided to try everything.

Here’s what I thought of the products I tried:

Best Friend Forever Face Wash (BFF): I usually shy away from scrubs, as they tend to irritate my Irish girl pasty skin.  This one did not.  It left my skin feeling super clean, and better than when I paid $95 for a facial at the spa.  Yes, I was dumb enough to do that.

The Stripper "tingles."
The Stripper “tingles.”

The Stripper D-Tox Body Mud Mask:  My skin tends to be sensitive, as you may have gathered from my pasty Irish skin comment. Olivia told me The Stripper would “tingle” and feel “slightly warm.”  She also told me “Don’t panic.”  It’s like she knows me.  I’m glad she prepared me because the first 10 seconds were more HOLY MOTHER OF GOD than tingle.  After that, I was fine.  I even painted my toenails while waiting for the mask to dry.  This mask can be used on your entire body, but I would only put it on my face.  I can’t imagine having my whole body “tingle” for 10 seconds.

Sweet Young Thing:  This is a creamy serum.  It’s light; I didn’t feel like my face was suffocating, like I do when I use the carrot oil stuff I paid $35 for at the spa.  Since a little goes a long way, I still have enough serum to use for at least 4 days.

Moisturizer 911: This is a great face moisturizer.  It’s light enough to use morning and night.  It can be used alone, or with Sweet Young Thing.

Sugar Fix: I’m not really a body scrub kind of girl due to that whole sensitive skin thing I have going on.  Sugar Fix is really gentle, though.  I used it in the shower, and I even washed my face with it.

You Can Call My Candy:  This is a body lotion.  Posh calls it a Slather.  I only had a little sample, so I just did my legs.  It was light, and natural.  It didn’t make my legs itch like some other products.

Hey Honey Hand Creme:  This is by far my favorite Perfectly Posh product.  Hey Honey Hand Creme instantly takes away that winter, skin splitting, dry feeling.  It even made my hands look smoother, and therefore younger.  It lasts through a few hand washings, too.  So, I wasn’t constantly reapplying it like with Bath and Body Works products.

Overall, I loved the Perfectly Posh products I sampled.  My favorite thing about them is that they are affordable, and they really are made of mild, natural ingredients.  As advertised, they are paraben  and paraffin free. All of the products smelled nice, too, but not in that scary artificial “Party Dress” way.  Cough Cough.  Bath and Body Works.

If you want to learn more about Perfectly Posh, take a look at Olivia’s web page.   As with most folks who do not live in caves, you can also find Olivia on Facebook.

Drowning in a Sea of Blue Gingham

I need an outfit made of this.
I need an outfit made of this.

I’m pretty sure that online shopping was invented for me and my fellow introverts.  For us, going to the mall in the middle of a weekday is torture, never mind on a weekend, like today.  My husband and I were just going to return a sweater to J. Jill and have some lunch.   My husband also wanted to stop by Bath and Body Works to get more foamy hand soap.   I love things that smell good, so I agreed to go with him.  Big mistake.  Bath and Body Works is having their SEMI-ANNUAL SALE, which means a lot of frigging people were in the store.  People.

And by people, I’m not just talking about shoppers, and there were tons of those.  There were also approximately 9,582 salespeople in blue aprons on duty. Everywhere I turned, someone was telling me about things that were 75% off, or things that were buy 2 get 1 free.  They were asking if they could help me find something when I was trying to read the labels on the various foamy soaps. There was nothing but chatty people and conversations about numbers.  It was an introverted English major’s nightmare.

I can read!!
I can read!!

Obviously, I could never work at Bath and Body Works, or anywhere where you have to approach other humans and talk.  This, along with the fact that I don’t like to wear pants with real waistbands, is why I work online. (I have no idea how I used to do stand-up comedy.) Just for fun, I tried to imagine the meeting that happened before the store opened.  I pictured a middle-aged woman, in a blue apron, who smelled like a mixture of Velvet Sugar and Japanese Cherry Blossom, standing in front of 9,500, or so, sales girls (I have yet to see a male sales person in Bath and Body Works) in a small, back room filled with blue gingham bags and boxes.  Her pep talk would go something like this:

OK ladies!! Listen up!  Yesterday we sold 580,997 dollars in lotions alone, but we can do better.  You have to be PERKIER ladies!  We have a Starbucks two stores down from us, and a Teavana  a little bit down from that.  CAFFEINATE! Snort the espresso grounds if you have to!  Go up to every person that comes through that door.  Tell them about the 3 for 2. Offer to let them sample things.  EVERY PERSON.  If you get too shaky from the grounds, huff the Eucalyptus Bath Salts, I mean Soak.  It’s a SOAK now. DO NOT call it BATH SALTS, not after that whole face-eating thing.  It’s in the bathroom behind the Sexy Dahlia Rush spray.

They must have listened to her because they were everywhere.  I felt like I was drowning in a sea of blue gingham.  I thought maybe I should have WORN head to toe blue gingham, with matching face paint, like some kind of Bath and Body Works camo.  That way I could have just shopped in peace without all of this “help.” I wanted to get in fetal position by the candle wall and scream,  “STOP TALKING TO ME!  I can READ the signs and labels!  Leave me alone; I just want to buy soap!!”
It was total sensory overload.  Not only was there SO MUCH NOISE from all of the TALKING, there were too many scents.  Enchanted Orchid was mixing with Party Dress (Wouldn’t that smell like sweat and spilled vodka?), and Espresso Bar was competing with both of them for storage space in my nostrils, thus suffocating me as much as the constant attention from the Gingham Army.

So NOT a BBW
So NOT a BBW

After this scary experience, my husband and I went to Molly Woo’s for a late lunch.  It was not crowded and they have a bar.  Win win.  So, like a lot of people, I wanted to post a picture of my beverages on Instagram.  I thought it would be amusing since I ordered hot tea and a shot of vodka.  It’s medicinal; don’t judge me.  Anyway, I asked my husband what the hash tag for Bath and Body Works was since he used to work for the parent company.  He told me BBW. So, I put #BBW on my picture of a teapot, teacup, and highball glass.  You guys, #BBW is so NOT Bath and Body Works.  I did a search on Instagram, just to check, and I saw a lot of shots of voluptuous women in bikinis.  I quickly learned that it means “big, beautiful women.”  Who knew? I think my curvier sisters are beautiful and all; I just feel bad for the guy who did that hash tag search after I posted my pic.  Sorry about that!