Tag Archives: cpap

CPAP — This thing blows!

This is the mouth breather CPAP mask.
This is the mouth breather CPAP mask.

When one of MY people is under the weather, I am one unhappy little hermit.  I would rather have whatever ailment my husband or my son has, than watch them suffer. After all, I don’t like to go out much anyway.  Right now my husband is suffering because he has sleep apnea.  If you are not familiar with sleep apnea, color yourself lucky.  If you want to know what it is, read this: What is Sleep Apnea?

Basically, my husband stops breathing when he is sleeping. Because of this, he not only snores like demons are coming up from the depths of hell to kill us all, he wakes up constantly during the night. So, to help his snoring and his breathing, which is way more important than the snoring, his doctor prescribed a CPAP machine for him.  This is a machine that blows air up his nose all night.  It’s not a gentle blowing, like when you receive oxygen at the hospital. This is BLOWING.  It’s like a nasal hurricane.

They have girly options, too.
They have girly options, too.

As you can imagine, this machine is not a lot of fun to wear all night, which is why my husband ends up keeping it on for like 5 hours and then ripping it off without even being fully awake.  Then, he goes back to not breathing, snoring, and waking up.  It’s not a good time.  He is exhausted during the day. As you can imagine, my husband doesn’t want to live like that.

So, he is having his throat melon-balled.  Well, the surgeon isn’t calling it that.  He tends to call it this: Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty, or UPPP for the common folk.  Go ahead and take a look at that site.  I will wait.

You back?  OK, now please never complain about a sore throat again. Ever.

When I was a kid, my mom told me she would rather pay for my braces than wear them.  This is my “I’d rather pay for it than have it” moment.  I think this surgery will “blow” big time.  Plus, the earliest date my husband could get was December 17th.  Merry Frigging Christmas, darling.  What kind of broth would you like for Christmas dinner? How about some Hot Ham Water, A La Arrested Development?

IMG_0109I would love to hear from anyone who has had this surgery, or who has worn the CPAP.  Please feel free to leave a comment.  Helpful coping tips are welcome.

Note: all photos used in this blog were taken at CPAP Central in Columbus, OH.