Tag Archives: Halloween

Forget the Reaper; I Fear the Doorbell

IMG_0624I have had Don’t Fear the Reaper stuck in my head today.  Maybe it’s because it is almost Halloween, that spooky darkness and death time of the year, or maybe it’s because I see a graveyard whenever I look out my back window.  Seriously, my house backs up to a graveyard.  This is actually what made me want to buy our house.  Graveyards and Halloween (except for the trick-or-treaters) do not scare me.  I fear something far worse than ghosts and goblins — the doorbell.

If you’ve read this blog before, you know that I HATE phone calls, and that I usually don’t answer the phone.  The only thing worse than a phone call is an unexpected visitor.  The sound of the doorbell ringing usually makes me jump, and here is why.

  1. I work from home.  I’m not sitting here eating bon bons and waiting for someone to visit me.  I have deadlines and I already battle constant interruptions from my four animals.  The last thing I need is another obstacle, whether it involves talking about Jehovah, or saying no to lawn care ( I have a teenager for that).  This is why I have a No Soliciting sign.  I’ve learned that lots of folks need to look up “soliciting” in the dictionary.
  2. I’m an introvert.  I can barely handle scheduled socializing.  Dropping in on me is super annoying. You might as well just parachute down my chimney.  It would have the same effect on my frazzled nerves.
  3. Again, I WORK FROM HOME. I’m in my pajamas at least half the day.  I’m not dressed for company. Don’t hate me because I’m comfortable.
  4. I have dogs.  The dogs go NUTS when the doorbell rings.  They also tend to run out and jump on the person standing on the porch when I open the door.  They give kisses, too.  Remember, the big one eats poop. This is why I need notice before someone shows up.  I need to crate these beasts.
  5. A lot of home invasion robberies begin with a doorbell ring. Here is one example. I’m not opening the door.

So, long story short, text first.  Don’t call; just text.  I need at least 24 hours notice for all visits.  Thanks.  Happy Halloween.  There will be a bucket of candy on the porch.  Feel free to take a piece.

 

 

Mama is a WITCH!

Hi, light square people. I just figured something out about Mama and it made me super sick to my stomach. Like, I almost didn’t eat dinner, but then I did because dinner is tasty. So, you guys, I just found out that my mama is a witch.

Now, some of you out there who know my mama, and maybe went to school with her, or live near us, are bobbing your heads up and down and saying, “yes, Sophie. She is a bitch.” But I said WITCH. I’m not talking about mean and grouchy, or female dog. I’m talking about magic. My mama has special powers, and she just acts like a witch. Here’s my proof.

Mama gave me a voodoo doll as a present.
Mama gave me a voodoo doll as a present. It freaked Lola out.
Mama has the angel of death saved on her light square.
Mama has the angel of death saved on her light square.
Mama likes to drink red stuff and it looks like blood.
Mama likes to drink red stuff and it looks like blood.
Mama took the eyes out of my Easter bunny.  She probably used them for a spell.
Mama took the eyes out of my Easter bunny. She probably used them for a spell.
Mama wears witch clothes.
Mama wears witch clothes.

The most magical thing Mama did was train Morris how to beg.  Everyone knows that you can’t train a CAT!

See, my mama IS a witch. This kind of scares me because witches love cats and can even become cats. You never see a witch with a dog, even a pretty black dog like me. So, I hope Mama doesn’t try to turn me into a cat. Then, I would eat really slow and make snake noises. Humans, please leave a comment for Mama and tell her not to be a cat witch. Thank you. Sophie

Forget the Reaper; I Fear the Doorbell

IMG_0624I have had Don’t Fear the Reaper stuck in my head today.  Maybe it’s because it is Halloween, that spooky darkness and death time of the year, or maybe it’s because I see a graveyard whenever I look out my back window.  Seriously, my house backs up to a graveyard.  This is actually what made me want to buy our house.  Graveyards and Halloween (except for the trick-or-treaters) do not scare me.  I fear something far worse than ghosts and goblins — the doorbell.

If you’ve read this blog before, you know that I HATE phone calls, and that I usually don’t answer the phone.  The only thing worse than a phone call is an unexpected visitor.  The sound of the doorbell ringing usually makes me jump, and here is why.

  1. I work from home.  I’m not sitting here eating bon bons and waiting for someone to visit me.  I have deadlines and I already battle constant interruptions from my five animals.  The last thing I need is another obstacle, whether it involves talking about Jehovah, or saying no to lawn care ( I have a teenager for that).  This is why I have a No Soliciting sign.  I’ve learned that lots of folks need to look up “soliciting” in the dictionary.
  2. I’m an introvert.  I can barely handle scheduled socializing.  Dropping in on me is super annoying. You might as well just parachute down my chimney.  It would have the same effect on my frazzled nerves.
  3. Again, I WORK FROM HOME. I’m in my pajamas at least half the day.  I’m not dressed for company. Don’t hate me because I’m comfortable.
  4. I have dogs.  The dogs go NUTS when the doorbell rings.  They also tend to run out and jump on the person standing on the porch when I open the door.  They give kisses, too.  Remember, the big one eats poop. This is why I need notice before someone shows up.  I need to crate these beasts.
  5. A lot of home invasion robberies begin with a doorbell ring. Here is one example. I’m not opening the door.

So, long story short, text first.  Don’t call; just text.  I need at least 24 hours notice for all visits.  Thanks.  Happy Halloween.  There will be a bucket of candy on the porch.  Feel free to take a piece.